Nikki Yeager

Today I'm stuck at home with an insanely painful and humongous stye on my eye (not sure if I should spell it "stye" or "sty" so I'm just going to switch it up every now and again). Not only do I look ridiculous, but I can only use one eye for anything useful. 

Yes, I'm half blind and home from work on my third day at a new job. I am just that awesome. 

But, aside from having nightmares about my boss thinking I'm a liar and a fool, I have to admit that I'm having a blast with my little pus-filled eyelid. 

Why? Well because I may look physically deformed, but the possibilities are endless! Styes pretty much kick any other infection's butt. 

Here's how:

1. General hilarity. How can you not laugh at a face like this? 

2. Dressing up like a pirate. Stys are a legitimate excuse to bust out the eye patch. Arrgggh

3. If I squint my good eye to match the crazy one and insert fake smoke... I can pull off the pothead look. Or at least come really close to it.

4. I am the real life http://www.bambusspiele.de/spiele/jekyllandhyde/jekyllandhyde_cover300_cop.jpg&t=1" target="_blank">Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Or Twoface. Whichever you prefer.  

4. And when all else fails, I can put on my sunglasses to cover the deformity and spend the rest of the day playing Men In Black.... 

...Or sleeping and making stupid pictures with paint all day while hopped up on OTC painkillers. Whatever.