Nikki Yeager

Blogging less. Loving more.

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 18:35:00 +0000

As you all have probably noticed, I'm blogging very little lately. So little, in fact, that you might have given up on me all together.

Which is OK because in the end, I think I may have reached the end of this blog for a while.

When I first started to blog I had a dozen and a half reasons for doing so. I like to write. I wanted to stay in touch with my family who is scattered all over the world. I needed to share my life with the general public because I had no consistent companion to share it with.. my friends are rather transient. I liked the idea of making my life, my art and my adventures public. Oh, and I had a crap ton of stuff going on.. why not share it with someone, anyone??

But somehow many of those reasons have faded. For the past year I've been a pretty boring human being, which I say without regret. I've had responsibility-type things to worry about during that time... paying bills, saving money, finding a companion, etc. Now I've jumped most of those hurdles and I'm about ready to go back to my old self: adventurer and wanderer. Slightly eccentric but with more than a few good stories to share. Energetic and curious and hard to pin down.

But I'll be doing it without the intense blogging. I'll be doing it without being alone.

In the past, I've always prided myself on being independent to the extreme. I've never travelled any way but alone. I've never made a decision while considering anyone else but myself (which has led to some of the best decisions of my life). I've followed different paths with no regard for other people's arguments or concerns. Always pursuing life for nothing but enjoyment.

I still plan on following those random paths that shoot off to foreign countries and unexplored territory but, this time, it'll be with someone by my side. Two years ago I set out to "find myself a man!" and after countless dates, I did that. Little did I know that I'd find the person who (in the undeniably cheesy words of The Adjustment Bureau) would "be enough". I've found the person who became my journal, my shared memory and my long term companion. I found the person who makes it unnecessary to share every detail of my life with the general population.

Why? Because I can share it with him.

He loves that weird sponteneity I just can't shake no matter how many people think I should outgrow it. When we imagine our lives together, we imagine deciding to go to Europe on a Thursday and leaving on a Friday. We imagine living in Thailand for no reason than because it'd be a change. We both get antsy when in one spot too long but always plan on returning to NYC between adventures (I found someone who shares my obsessive love for the city). And some day in the future, if we ever take that leap and get married or have children... well, neither one of us considers "settling" to be something stagnant. We consider a "settled" life one that is stable but international, easy but adventuresome. We would like our children to be worldy and multi-cultural, multi-lingual and experienced.

And throughout all of those adventures I've found someone to not only tell about it all but to actually share it with. I've found the person who doesn't only put up with me grudgingly, but admires my oddities. Basically, I've found everything I ever dreamed I could find in one person.

Most importantly, I found someone who prizes me as an individual. And I, him.

One time an ex-boyfriend asked me: "So, Nikki, when will you finally let someone tie you down?"
And I answered: "The right person won't want to."

And for all the people who never understood that, Daniel does. Which is how I know I've found my person who is, and always will be, "enough".

Debt conquered - shame continues

Thu, 29 Sep 2011 14:45:00 +0000

I thought I'd feel a sense of accomplishment as I paid my debt off. Turns out, I don't. More than anything I feel slightly annoyed and more embarrassed than ever. Whenever it comes up in conversation ("Hey Nikki, how's that massive debt war you were waging going?" "Great! I paid off all my credit cards!"), instead of being met with the following:

"Holy sh*t how'd you do that? You are the God of all debt! Mere mortals bow in your presence while being smothered to death by the thought of the millions of dollars they themselves owe. Please, impart me with your infinite debt-slaying wisdom! Oh miraculous girl with such grand perseverance!"

I find instead:

"Well, that'll teach you. Your puny, undeveloped 20-something brain has yet to grasp the complicated and deceiving power of the Wicked Debt Witch of the West. Maybe this lesson will finally show you the way to responsible savings-filled-adulthood. God bless you along your journey and may your childlike ignorance soon fade...however, we don't dare hope for as much."

Which, to be honest, baffles me.

Are these people not the same people with hundreds of thousands of dollars tied up in a mortgage they can barely manage? Are these not the same adults who spent the second 20 years of their life trying to pay of the first 20? Did no one mention that the average debt a 24 year old has after college is hovering somewhere around 24k (an amount more than double anything I've ever racked up)? Forgive me, but am I missing something?

Sure, I don't actually expect anyone to be impressed by the fact I've managed to pay off a comparatively microscopic bit of money, but I would like a high five or a "cool" here and there. Really, even a shrug and a sigh would be more satisfactory than the responses I've actually received. Almost everyone has looked at me with pity and said something regarding my poor decisions and then that person will allude to the fact I'm far to young to understand finances.

And to that, I would like to finally defend myself.

I made a very conscious and very calculated decision to take on debt. I paid two hospital bills and a security deposit on my credit cards. It's only because of a broken lease due to unfortunate circumstances that I wasn't able to pay back at least the security deposit. Then I got accepted to two art shows. So I spent nearly 1000 dollars in art supplies. Why? For the chance of a lifetime. And yes, it did work out well. Unfortunately when you absorb yourself in work that's unprofitable for so long, you usually need to spend any eventual profit on things like food... rent.. necessities that keep you alive. So my art supply debt stayed. Oh, and remember that little stint at school that I had? The microscopic one that put me within a year and a half of graduation before I dropped out? I managed to only rack up 7,000 in tuition and books. That's money that I borrowed from my dad with the condition that if I did not graduate I would pay him back in full. And when I dropped out it was no ignorant decision. It was with full knowledge of what I was doing and if anyone believes a single part of that was based on inexperience, I beg you to reconsider. It was based on complete understanding and to this day I will guarantee the fact that I would be absolutely no better off had I stayed in school (if you don't believe me, feel free to email me any time and I will send you a spreadsheet of the projected costs of school vs. the cost of my lifestyle including my income vs. the average college graduate's income. And I'd also be happy to lay out my reasoning for dropping out in no uncertain terms any time you feel I'm not fully aware of my past decisions).

So no, I did not make a terrible mistake. I made several small allowances based on a careful calculation of debt vs. reward. In all of the above circumstances the debt was needed with the idea I would pay it off as soon as my situation improved.

And guess what? I did just that. I paid it off when my situation improved.

Which leaves me in my current position. I'm 22, have a job that pays me more than the average national income (according to government statistics in 2009) and I currently live in one of the most expensive cities in the world (that I love with a passion that few people ever experience). I travel at least once a month, have lived in three different countries and have absolutely no external financial help.

You heard that right. No external financial help. My parents don't give me money. My relatives don't give me money. I didn't start with a trust fund or an excessive graduation gift. I worked hard from the time I was 14 and I never stopped.

And now, I've pulled myself out of a comparatively small hole that I dug with full understanding. And even if no one else thinks it's an accomplishment, I will gladly pat myself on the back knowing I am continuing life at 22 with just as much debt as I had until I was 20 - exactly $0.

That. Is pretty darn good.

Homemade iPad Case (what?!?!? Nikki with an iPad?!)

Sat, 11 Jun 2011 18:48:00 +0000

I'm not sure if I mentioned this but the other day my boss got high on enthusiasm for reaching a huge milestone in our company and *BAM* in his delirious state, bought everyone iPads.

... or at least that's how I explain the iPad gifts. Everyone else thinks he just really, really appreciates us all helping make that particular milestone possible.

Meh. To each his own.

Anyways, the point is that I have an iPad 2 (which I never would have purchased myself for that insanely high price) and I actually really like it. Granted, it is pointless for a ton of stuff. However, for a free gift it's great to do work on when in transit and it has a Free Books app that lets me read over 1k literary classics. I'm currently on The Rainbow by Lawrence and I'm -surprisingly- loving every minute of it.

That being said there is one teeny, eensy problem with being gifted an iPad. The case.

The $60+ case.

Without a case, that pretty little screen is pretty much useless because any time you toss it into a messy purse, you end up with tiny little scratches all over the screen. And those tiny little scratches make reading D. H. Lawrence utterly unbearable.

So I've set out to make my own case in about 10 minutes with the materials laying around my house: Superglue, an old dress, paper and pretty colored rubber bands.

This is what I ended up with:

Overall, it's sort of crappy. The edges are wrinkly and the glue made weird little wrinkles on the top left hand corner. STILL, compared to buying a 60 dollar case, I think this is a great 10 minute, free solution.

And yes, it might look like a two year old got a hold of the craft drawer, but I'm still darn proud of my creation.

I fought the debt.

Thu, 09 Jun 2011 18:40:00 +0000

So I’m currently 4k in debt. In serious, high interest, painful, exhausting, endless… debt.

I pay so much money towards minimum payments each month that I could easily rent another apartment in Manhattan if JP Morgan Chase didn’t own my soul.

However, I’m happy.
Why?
Because I’m only 4k in life-crushing debt. 6 months ago I was in double+ that amount. And then I made a life changing decision. I waged an all-out war on my credit cards and so far,

I have been victorious.

Armed with nothing but an enormous capacity to live in abject poverty and an affinity for extremes, I’m beating down each balance every single week. With a good 300 dollars automatically removed from every measly paycheck I get, I’ve managed to slaughter two cards. I took their 2 thousand dollar balances and laughed in their faces. I ate pasta for a month.
I gained weight from eating nothing but snacks from my office for a week. I lost weight from eating nothing but apricots the next week. I sold books, picked up promos and put my bridesmaids dress up on ebay the day after I wore it.

I stopped having fun unless it involved the word “free” (which still involved quite a bit of fun).

I gave up shopping, lived penny to penny and usually purchased breakfast with leftover quarters on Wednesdays (the day before payday). Aside from rent and cell phone bills, I use money for nothing except my ongoing debt battle. Each 300 dollars making nothing but a tiny, disappointing dent in the never ending debt.

And then, one day, I woke up with only one card left. The largest and most vicious – this is the card with an interest rate that eats other interest rates for breakfast. This card has no other goal then to crush the dreams of little girls trying to survive in big cities. This card is my biggest opponent yet.

Yet I am happy, because I know that after 6 months I’ve almost completely eradicated all those pesky little payments from my life.

And I feel like Achilles… before anyone learned about his heel.

Sneak Peak at new art

Thu, 02 Jun 2011 02:23:00 +0000

For all of you who didn't know, I'm working on a huge new collection of art that will blow anything I've done in the past out of the water (or so I believe, but really what do I know about what you'll think??). Anyways, I've taken down all my past work so if you are interested in any of my earlier pieces, send me an email and we'll talk about them :)

As for the new stuff, here's a sneak peak of what's to come:

Forgive the crappy pic, but let me know what you think of where I'm headed :)

In Honor of Memorial day...

Mon, 30 May 2011 14:30:00 +0000

A quote from a great book I'm reading, First They Killed My Father by Loung Ung:

(After a girl asks her father about how he was forced to be a policeman for Lon Nol's government in Cambodia and he brings up the concept of America)

"No, there are two political parties that run the country. One side is called the Democrats and the other the Republicans. During their fights, whichever side wins, the other side has to look for different jobs. For example, if the Democrats win, the Republicans lose their jobs and often have to go elsewhere to find new jobs. It is not this way in Camboida now. If the Republicans lost their fights in Cambodia, they would all have to become Democrats or risk punishment."

Mind you that was leading up to the Khmer Rouge. Now it's not necessarily as bad... however, there are plenty of other places in the word where this is still the case and will be for quite some time.

Who ever thought there could be a positive spin to the intense partisan split we have on our hands right now?

Just another reminder of why I love living here.

21 Things #12: Golfing like a pro. (part 1)

Sat, 28 May 2011 00:29:00 +0000

I've discovered my new favorite place in NYC - the Chelsea Piers driving range. I know, a weird choice for me, but it's absolutely amazing! Just look at it:

A few weeks ago I dragged my friend Carolina to the driving range so we could finish part #1 of my two part golfing adventure: learning how to hit a golf ball.

We wandered all the way out to Chelsea and found the cutest little Golfer's Club down by the water. You walk in and for $25 dollars can buy 90 balls and for another $5 we got 2 golf clubs. Probably the cheapest of all my 21 things so far!

Granted, we had to spend about 1/2 an hour sitting on a cozy leather couch in what appeared to be Businessman central while waiting for a tee to open up... but there are far worse fates to suffer in the world.

At last, we got our chance to have a go at it. We stepped out onto the fake grass and made our way to the 2nd little area. With a quick swipe of our golf card, a ball popped up on a little remotely controlled tee (no bending over or anything. Offically short skit approved!) and we were ready to go.

Mind you, I've never swung a golf club in my life. BUT I did watch a 10 minute video before leaving my apartment that day. So, clearly, I was an expert golfer right off the bat.

I lined up my golf club, held it just like I saw in the video, kept my eyes on the ball, carefully arranged my stance just one more time and... Swung.

...Nothing but air.

In fact, I wasn't even close. I'm pretty sure I missed the ball by at least four inches during my first three attempts. So I took a breathe, wound up again and instead of paying any attention to what I was doing I flailed my arms, sloppily plopped my legs in a random position and swung with all my might.

Somehow I hit the ball that time. Go figure.

Sure, it may not have been graceful but it certainly wasn't anywhere near as odd as Charles Barkley's swing.

And I'll tell you this much, I may have looked like a bufoon, but I loved every minute of hitting balls towards the Hudson and watching ships go by as the sexy rich guys next to me spent an afternoon smacking balls around and having a grand 'ole time. Certainly not a bad way to spend 25 bucks.

Not bad at all.

Golfing Video - 21 things number 12!

Fri, 27 May 2011 22:48:00 +0000

And..... score!!!

I have nothing interesting to write now. So here's a video of my cat playing fetch.

Sat, 21 May 2011 16:45:00 +0000

His name is Mac and he likes to bring the shaky ball into bed every morning so I'll play fetch.

He's sort of a fool.

21 Things # 11: My biggest fear. Kombucha.

Mon, 16 May 2011 17:39:00 +0000

As everyone knows, I'm only about 1/2 way through my 21 things. I've knocked off a ton of the big things (5 course meal, sky diving, flying a plane, etc.) but still have a bunch of the small things left (getting a Chinese Massage, skinny dipping, etc.).

One of the seemingly insignificant things finally happened the other day - trying Kombucha and Aloe teas.

Let's talk about the Kombucha first.

I know it seems silly and a little stupid, but fermented tea terrifies me. All my friends swoon over the magical healing properties in this particular Chinese remedy but I've always stayed comfortably perched on the fence.

It cures hangovers! It tastes delicious! It energizes you! It clears your skin! It's better than yogurt for your insides!

All that being said, when I look into a bottle of Kombucha I see nothing past the appearance - a weird brownish blend of vinegary smelling tea with mold floaties swirling around the bottom.

Icky.

So I decided to face my tea fear head on and brew my own Kombucha. All it took was a SCOBY (kombucha culture) that looks something like a pancake mixed with a slug, some hot tea, sugar and a glass container to brew it all in. 5-9 days later and *voila* kombucha is made.

It's sort of stinky and pretty gorss... but definitely drinkable. I'll post my reviews of Aloe teas and other ones that scare my tastebuds senseless in the next few days. But for now, here's my Home Brewed Kombucha Video.

Let me know how you feel about this particular beverage. As always, I'm super curious!

We Loved Him.

Mon, 16 May 2011 00:26:00 +0000

Today I became a bird owner. For about 6 hours.

I was so excited to write a blog tonight about how I'd heroically saved a little birdy's life. How Daniel and I lovingly nursed that little sparrow to health. We even named him Chirpy.

We were walking down the street by Staple's when I first noticed him - a little brown and gray bird flailing on the sidewalk. I stopped dead in my tracks and immediately fell in love. One of his wings was bent in a painful angle and his right leg laid in a semi-strange position. He rolled around and tried to get away, but he clearly couldn't.

Without thinking, I wailed "We need to save him!" and Daniel looked at me like I was nuts. Which, I'll admit, I certainly can be.

But I cannot leave a little baby bird on the sidewalk to starve with nothing but a broken wing to keep him company.

So I grabbed my scarf out of my bag and decided to pick up my newly dubbed Chirpy. Daniel managed to hold him while directing me to find somewhere to take him. Of course, on a Sunday afternoon nearly every Vet is closed.

With Chirpy asleep in the scarf, we ran all over Brooklyn trying to find someone to help. We stopped at a Vet's office who was closed and banged on the door (someone answered). We asked the receptionist to help but she couldn't do anything except give us her warmest thoughts and recommend another office. The other office was already locked by the time we got there. And little Chirpy seemed to be getting less and less active.

Finally we broke down and decided to ask our pet store. I walked in without much hope and asked the guy behind the counter, "Do you have any bird people here?"

With the help of 4 employees we managed to purchase some baby bird food to hand feed little chirpy and got plenty of recommendations on how to nurse him back to health. The one guy wished us luck and commented, "Once he gets some food he should start being more active right away!"

I had renewed faith in our ability to heal a bird and Daniel started to imagine having a little birdy pet for the rest of our lives as we calmly carried Chirpy to his new abode.

We mixed the food, made a little bird home out of a cardboard box and my already contaminated scarf and fed him with a tiny eyedropper. Immediately the bird perked up. Chirpy starting doing his best to walk around. He rolled a little, he opened his mouth for more.

We thought everything was ok.

Until a few hours later when we decided to feed him a little bit more. We opened the box to find something much less happy than a recovering bird. He no longer moved when you touched him. He didn't care about food. The most he could muster was a single movement that resembled a yawn.

An hour later my new pet bird passed away.

And it sounds absolutely ridiculous, but while I was scrubbing my hands with soap and sanitizing the windowsill, I couldn't help but be completely unwound by the whole situation. I think I loved my little bird. For all of the 6 hours I owned him.

Another one bites the dust.

Fri, 13 May 2011 19:25:00 +0000

It's official. The pregnancy bug is contagious. After two births, a planned pregnancy and a miracle pregnancy.. my office is permanently contaminated with a harsh virus.

It's call the baby virus and it's recently claimed another victim - my coworker Rachael. Now the remaining un-wed girls in the office are having nervous breakdowns once a month and we're all considering buying BuildingLink chastity belts. It's clearly something in the water.

Which is why I was forced to add us running from the pregnancy scare in my office portrait. Hope it makes you smile :)

21 Things #11 : Kombucha and other disgusting teas

Thu, 12 May 2011 19:36:00 +0000

One of the seemingly insignificant things finally happened the other day - trying Kombucha and Aloe teas.

Let's talk about the Kombucha first.

I know it seems silly and a little stupid, but fermented tea terrifies me. All my friends swoon over the magical healing properties in this particular Chinese remedy but I've always stayed comfortably perched on the fence.

It cures hangovers! It tastes delicious! It energizes you! It clears your skin! It's better than yogurt for your insides!

All that being said, when I look into a bottle of Kombucha I see nothing past the appearance - a weird brownish blend of vinegary smelling tea with mold floaties swirling around the bottom.

Icky.

So I decided to face my tea fear head on and brew my own Kombucha. All it took was a SCOBY (kombucha culture) that looks something like a pancake mixed with a slug, some hot tea, sugar and a glass container to brew it all in. 5-9 days later and *voila* kombucha is made.

It's sort of stinky and pretty gorss... but definitely drinkable. I'll post my reviews of Aloe teas and other ones that scare my tastebuds senseless in the next few days. But for now, here's my HomeBrewed Kombucha Video.

Let me know how you feel about this particular beverage. As always, I'm super curious!

The Valuable Lessons in Life

Thu, 12 May 2011 13:43:00 +0000

My boyfriend prides himself on being somewhat of a non-conformist. We both do. In fact, whenever we talk about children in the future, it doesn't matter that we might have freakish looking babies (we have VERY different features that could blend disasterously! Imagine a boy who couldn't gain weight for the life of him (we're both skinny minnies), with my ginormous ghetto booty and Daniel's shnoz). But those weird lookin' babies better be able to think for themselves!

Which is exactly what we taught my neice last weekend in OH.

It was a perfectly sunny day spent wandering around in the MetroParks with my brother, sister-in-law and two little kids. The little boy (Quinn) kept drifting off into mud puddles while my brother helplessly chased after him. All the while, Brenna yanked my arm ahead, needing to "lead the way!".

After a few hours of running after her little 5 year old self while wearing 4 inch heels, I decided it was time to go home. So we followed the family to the car and spent a few minutes milling around while Quinn was wrangled into his car seat. Brenna proudly displayed her first loose tooth as we all huddled around, impressed by her oncoming adulthood and debating the best way to remove a shaky incisor.

Which is when Daniel jokingly stuck out his clenched fist and said "Ok Brenna, you just punch my fist with your face and we'll knock that sucker right outta there!"

Kidding, of course.

Brenna looked at his fist, then looked at her mom. Back at the fist. Back at her mom.

Then, without warning, she slammed her face into Daniel's fist without another moment of hesitation.

A second followed where no one could do anything except stare. Shocked. Completely. Shocked.

My brother was the first to crack with a violent burst of laughter. Then came my sister-in-law who swooped to the rescue to comfort her little girl with the sore face.

All the while Daniel and I just stood there. In complete and utter disbelief.

"Well, we taught her to listen to adults!!" My sister-in-law continued to swoon while my brother had to turn around to keep from peeing his pants laughing.

...And now we're convinced that my little neice finally understands - always think for yourself before punching someone's fist with your face. Always a good lesson to learn young.

Thinkin' About Art

Tue, 03 May 2011 00:02:00 +0000

And he said "Why don't you..."

I couldn't come up with any legitimate reason why. Aside from money. It's always an issue of money.

The 20 dollar lights, the 10 dollar tubes of paint, the 100 dollars towards brushes. Another 50 for canvas and then I'mb ack at square one for the next piece.

And he said "Nikki, a lot of girls think they're good at art."

A lot of girls besides me. Because I'm one of the few who never claimed to have any unusual talent... never tried to pass myself off as the next Rothko or the next Magritte or the next Dali (even though I admire Dali with everything in my little heart). I never tried to be special. I just wanted to get it out. All the creativity that keeps me up at night. I just needed it out.

He replied "But you actually are."

And he has my painting in his apartment to prove it. In fact, quite a few people I know have a painting from me in their apartment as a testament to their belief in me.

And I have about a hundred paintings in our apartment. Because no matter how much I claim I don't care about producing each little piece of art, I can't stop myself from creating. I can't put the paintbrush down, I can't toss out my sketch book. And if nothing else I keep going for my own enjoyment above all else.

Because really, there's no other time I've ever felt more in tune with my body and more in tune with the world.

Maybe he has a point. I may not be special but maybe I should attemp to be something...

At least give it a try. What's the harm in putting a few of my new pieces on my site or spending that extra 20 bucks?

Maybe it's time to go back to art.